WELCOME TO HELL. Volume 8.

# Fucking 8 huh? Well, good for me, bad for some! But good for most, right? Maybe not, but I’m still going to do this, so too fucking bad! hahaha. I’m starting to see some of the bands that I have been featuring get some attention and some are getting signed and what not. Not sure if it is because of this article, but hey, it is still killer regardless of WHO saw WHAT, WHERE. It really doesn’t matter where the band gets recognition, it is the recognition itself that matters. The best part is seeing that these bands make it to the right people and the plague spreads! The same old bullshit just doesn’t cut it anymore. The time has come to bring the true to the masses that seek them. I’m not talking about the mainstream masses. I’m talking about the die hards, the old schoolers and the ones that are tired of the shit that disguises itself as metal. Is that kid in the Slipknot shirt really a poser? Or is that kid that combs ebay for Morbid Saint patches and Abhorrence shirts a poser? Us older fucks had it good! We grew up with Maiden, Venom and “Ride The Lightning”. Kids today grow up with Korn, Disturbed and “Load-Re-Load whatever the fuck St. Anger”. The Slipknot kid might have an open mind, have courtesy to his or her elders, show respect for us old farts and ask all kinds of questions, just like OUR young asses did! hahaha. And that ebay kid might be a real prick, think he fucking knows everything, stand around at shows,talk shit and be a scenster. Maybe the ebay kid was just listening to Green Day and New Found Glory and just discovered metal. Maybe the Slipknot kid did as well! But that Slipknot kid might end up being the next death metal maniac with a killer band. Or maybe the next local “big wig” promoter. The ebay kid might just be a real pain in the ass, or might wise up and do the same as the other kid. But in the end, they both ended up looking for something more. Something heavy and sick that changed them. Just like the classics did for us. Guys like me were lucky though cause we had Sabbath, Priest and old Slayer on to the next wave and not White Chapel, Killswitch Engage, and new Slayer. Funny how it works. It was my Brother Tom that got me into all kinds of killer stuff. He also was VERY in touch with the underground and was all over magazines and the internet and always kept me posted about killer bands and albums. Once my passion was stoked, it never left! He also was down to take me to cool concerts and hang out with my little metal head ass. Especially since he is 10 years older than me! Thanks Bro! Love Ya! I also had, older, cooler friends that guided me to killer bands and concerts. And also let me hang out and be part of the crew! HAILS GUYS! Now I also had help with this article. 5 out of the 6 bands on here, I credit my girlfriend Christa, and my friend Ralf Hauber with finding for me! Christa ran into Haizum and Warfist one morning, and played me the songs on their myspace profiles. She felt that they fit with “MY STYLE” which she was 100% right! Thanks babe! I love you! And Ralf, he had Funereality, Miasmal and Undead Creep featured in his Comp CD for Mystical Music Mag. Ralf always has killer bands on there and those 3 stood out and were also more “unknown” compared to some on there. Thanks Ralf! Love ya too babe! bahahahahaha. Enough of the love fest! Now to the bands!

I start off the band section here with a band that I have heard only ONE song. FUNERALITY from Sweden have one song on their myspace player, and one song on the Mystical Music Zine Comp CD. It is the same song “Master Of The Foul Arts”. They have managed to get my attention with this one song. They are THAT good. And 1 second within hearing this great song, I was fucking sold. They have captured THE SOUND. For me, the ultimate “Death Metal Sound” are the demos of the past greats. The power and energy, the evil feeling and dark production. Funerality have the Autopsy “Critical Madness” sound almost down to a T! When you listen to a recording like this, it sounds like the vocalist is going to jump out of the speakers and kill you. These Swedish mad men also have the killer riffs to go with the diabolical vocals. Some would say that it is a classic Autopsy rip off. But I say these fuckers know what they are doing, and if you are going to “sound” like a band, then Autopsy is always a great one to sound like. There is a dirty ass punk vibe with these fuckers as well. A Repulsion influence being strong, of course since they were the kings of punk/death so to speak! haha. Digging deep into this band, I found that it is one fucking guy that makes this death noise! He plays all instruments and does all the vocals. SICK! I wonder if he will join the “one man death metal band” trend? hahahaha. Funereality has put out a demo on CD that was only 20 pressed. There was a 2nd pressing of this demo on tape, with only 100 pressed. This demo is a 3 song release called “Funeral For A Fuck”. Talk about rare as fuck! This is some kvlt underground shit! I don’t know if there are shirts available or not, so get in contact through the myspace. This guy is also in Old Bones, a killer Swedish death/doom band that has been making noise in the underground. On the Funereality front, I understand that a 2nd demo will be coming out soon. Maybe this side project will become a more serious one! It sure has the potential to blow away 90% of the other “old school” bands that are spawning everywhere! I can’t say enough about this guy and his song! hahahaha. I look forward to getting my copy of the demo!

FUNEREALITY

www.myspace.com/reversefuck

Keeping with the Swedish theme, we have MIASMAL. I hear more of an early Dismember vibe with these guys. And of fucking course this rules! It is simple, straight forward and to the point. Just like any of the great Swedish death metal bands, there is the crushing heaviness, the catchy riffs, and the addicting melody. The song writing is always top notch with the good ones, and Miasmal are one of them. Ohhhhh, those lovely fucking skank beats! ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Gives me the fucking chills like the creep that Iam! The production is dense and heavy as fuck with their songs. In the end, these guys do the classic Swedish death metal GREAT! They fit right along side of all the old heavyweights that killed us back then! Everything from the vocals, to the riffs and drums are awesome! The songs move at a ripping pace and never get boring. The 3 songs on the myspace are fucking killer! These maniacs will be playing the Kill Town Death Fest in Denmark on Sept 16th. As well as the Nuclear War Now! Fest #2 November 19th in Germany. FUCK, I wish I could go to these fests! Miasmal will be playing with quite an impressive line up at both fests! The Denmark fest is their first actual show playing live. Quite a opening gig when you see the line up on the fest! How, you might ask, can a new band that hasn’t played live or released an album yet, play 2 major European festivals? Well, when you are as good as Miasmal, you just get killer gigs, so shut the fuck up! OK, now these guys seemed to go out of their way to print up their stuff for the true underground buyer that likes rare shit! The Miasmal demo has become quite legendary in the underground and has a few pressings out there in circulation. The original tape had 250 copies made. Then Detest Records and Nuclear War Now! did a picture disc at 250 copies as well as a 12 inch record at 250 copies, of this sought after demo(collectors rejoice! Good luck scensters! haha.) Now, also, Detest and Me Saco Un Ojo also put out a super limited 2 song 7 inch that had 500 copies made (100 red vinyl, 400 black vinyl.) Again, collectors and scensters alike will drive themselves crazy trying to find these. Represses of the EP 7 inch record, demo tape and demo 12 inch record will be out soon though, so keep up with Detest Records to find out about those. There are also Miasmal shirts available too. Support this killer horde!

MIASMAL
www.myspace.com/miasmalband

No we venture to Italy to take a look at the paisanos UNDEAD CREEP. Any band with CREEP in their name is fine by me. Well these Sicilians mix Dismember and Autopsy with perfect and deadly accuracy. Throw in some prime Entombed/Nihilist as well. Of course, as with quite a few of the “throwback” bands, there is a HUGE Swedish death metal influence in their sound and writing style. DUH! hahaha. Which is fucking fine by me! I mean, come on, if you are still reading after 8 of these articles, then you know what I like! hahahaha. We only have 2 songs to listen to on their myspace page, but they are AMAZING displays of death fucking metal. You will swear that these guys are from Stockholm and not Palermo. What I forgot to mention in the 2 articles above, about the ACTUAL Swedish bands, is the “punk” simplicity to all of this. To the newer heads, you remember in the Swedish death metal book when Daniel was talking with Nicke/Entombed and they talked about the punk/hardcore influence? Well, Undead Creep play the Swedish death style and it also has that “punk” type of simplicity that just shreds. What it is, it goes straight for the throat with attitude and aggression. It is stripped down and has a simple formula. A “rock” formula, if you will. It is just played with down tuned guitars, with tons of heavy metal pedal distortion, and the vocals are screams and growls from the grave. Undead Creep have all of these qualities and have been doing their homework for sure! It is THE TRUE sound. Again, I’m impressed with the song writing here. And this band just formed in 2009. These creeps have a 5 song demo out that you can get by contacting the band. They will be also doing a full length album that is a joint release between Dark Blasphemies Records and Dark Descent Records. Unholy Domain Records also put out a tape version of this demo. Not sure about shirts, so contact these creeps and get this stuff. The album is going to be MASSIVE if this demo is any indicator! The gates are open, and the horror of the Undead Creep is coming!

UNDEAD CREEP
www.myspace.com/undeadcreep666

And I will go to the UK for the next band! We get darker and blacker though, as HAIZUM plays thee black metal. These self proclaimed “Vatican City” slayers play black metal just how I like it: cold, raw and ugly. There is a Darkthrone vibe going on. And a bit of this reminds me of Craft. Well as far as black metal goes, those 2 are GOLD for me! The thing about some black metal is that it gets too “tin-ny” with the guitar sound and there are just a bunch of “evil” sounding melodic cords played at fast speeds. And the speed of it all. Funny how the strings are tuned up, yet sometimes it’s hard to understand the riffs and shit. Well NOT with Haizum. Like the aforementioned bands of black that I like, Haizum has RIFFS! And like Darkthrone, some of them are MASSIVE metal rippers. And like, let’s say early Deathspell Omega, there are quite a few time and flow changes, but it is all done very well and it leads to a killer main riff. And the trademarks of killer black metal are there like: sad and dismal melodies, awesome fast parts that still have power, sick razor throat ed vocals, and catchy riffs that stick in your head. The heavy low end is also here, ala Craft. This is what sometimes separates good and bad black metal, the heavy bass lines/low drum parts. The songwriting is killer with Haizum as well. The production is lo-fi and raw, yet is well done, to where one can hear everything going on in this evil world they are in. Here we have quite a band to watch out for in the near future that shall be making some noise in the underground I’m sure. There message is clear “Haizum stands against the worthless elements of Black Metal. We promote strict devotion, a return of focus and dedication. We are the scourge!” Enough said! The myspace site has 2 killer songs to murder to. As with a lot of black metal kvlt-ists, they don’t seem to check up on the myspace very much. Now it seems that this band has become a one man project as well, with Xeper doing all instruments and vocals. And I understand that he is now living in California? Crazy! Haizum has 2 demos out “Orthodox Black Ritual” and “The Temple Of Diseased Flesh”. But get in contact or look them up online to find out about merchandise and releases, and to see if these demos are available. The next release will be called “Blood Redemption: Seven Penitential Psalms of Ascetic Devotion”. Not sure if this is a demo or album. Haizum kills so check them out!

HAIZUM
www.myspace.com/templeofdiseasedflesh

The drunken maniacs from WARFIST come from Poland and they have come for your women and beer! Total fucking balls out Venom/Motorhead/Sodom demos/old Slayer metal worship madness here. Yes, I’m a sucker for this sound and style! But it’s metal as fuck and a fun time that will also kick your ass! The songs on their player are all raw and sound like that they were recorded on an old ghettoblaster radio, on some beat up TDK tapes. But that really doesn’t matter, the songs come through with bloody flying colors! Great stuff here. What do you get? Killer riffs, kick ass skank beats and shredding vocals. What more do you need? These guys join the black thrash punk metal of death madness just perfectly! These maniacs are a 3 piece right now, and are looking for a 2nd guitar player. They are also working on their debut full length album as we speak. Since forming in 2004, they have done 2 demos(”Pure Fucking Hell” and “Tunes of Hell and Alcohol”) an EP on Iron Bonehead “HellTyrant Rising”, 3 way splits with Witchtrap/Acral Necrosis and Mesmerized/Exhalation, and a split with Empheris. These mighty Polska mother fuckers will be slaughtering the underground so keep an eye on them. The metal runs through their veins. Just like all of the other great bands that play this style, it is true and real! There is nothing fake about them. The conviction comes through and the mighty Warfist prevails! These guys are an essential part of any true metalheads collection. Especially the black/thrashing, metal/punk loving, hard drinking, manic headbanging and satan loving variety! Warfist even does a killer cover of  “Pure Evil And Hate” by Behemoth,off that bands debut EP “And the Forests Dream Eternally”. You might say that would be a odd cover for them. But not only are Behemoth also Polska, but Warfist decided that it was just a great song to cover and yes, it is! The early Behemoth stuff is total raw and ugly. Another cool thing is that the artist Klaudiusz Witczak does all of Warfist’s artwork. He has done stuff for Nunslaughter, Throneum, and Anima Damnat. Get in contact with these drunken maniacs before they drown in vodka and metal! GREAT BLACK THRASHIN ROCK A ROLLA!!!!!!!!!!!

WARFIST
www.myspace.com/warfisthorde

And I end the band section with FILTHEATER from here in the United States. The band is a mystery actually. I’m really not sure what state or city they are from. Could be anywhere these days since the plague of underground metal has spread all over. We do need a band from Maine, or Alaska, which these fucks would fit in over at those places! hahaha. The members names are even a mystery. I’m sure they intended it this way, so good for them! Anyways, the music is fucking oppressive, heavy as fuck, and one would almost feel dirty and filthy after listening to them. They have moments of slow doom, mid paced headbangers with killer riffs, and balls out grindcore. The guitars are DOWNTUNED and the vocals are low gurgles in an old school way, with the occasional screams of anguish. Always disgusting though! There is also tons of feedback, that gives everything that “messy feel”. It is not a comfortable listen, and I don’t recommend this to everyone. But I think it’s fucking awesome! As far as a comparison, it’s almost sounds like the first Disembowelment demo mixed with Rottrevore, and the infamous Rhode Island band Phlegm. The guitars are devastating and sludgy, and it is a fucking dismal affair with Filteater, just like Rottrevore was with their demo and first EP. This is some BRUTAL shit Maynard! Not for the weak at all. If you put this on, and are not prepared for it, you will either puke in disgust, or shriek in terror at the manic and pungent death noise coming out of those speakers! But if you are ready, the cavernous Filtheater will shake the foundations of your house with a vengeance and everything will be shreds and dust by the time the first song is over. Again, I don’t know much about Filteater, so try and contact them through the myspace page about their self released EP “Caliginosity”. They also have some shirts out there. As well as the same EP released on cassette tape. Keep an eye out for these heavy fuckers of sludgy sewer death! It’s a mess, but it’s fucking fun and great! In a popping pimples and playing with the puss kind of way! hehehehe.

FILTHEATER
www.myspace.com/filtheaterband

That’s all for now. Blood. Piss. Death Fucking Metal! If you don’t like it, don’t read it! If you still don’t like it, go fuck yourself! Hails To The True Bretheren Of Death! And The Hellheim Horde!
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